16/12

When I looked at the date today morning, I knew there was something significant about it. Couldn’t place my finger on what it was. I kept thinking if it was someone’s birthday or anniversary or something else – what was I forgetting? 

And then it dawned on me – 16^th December 2008 was one very happening day in our life. How could I forget?! We found out that we were going to have a baby boy and we also bought our own car that day! Fond memories! That little baby in the u/s pics now sits next to me, not letting me complete what I am trying to type!!

5 years have gone by and so many things have changed. 

So long!

Being Mom - SAHM or Working

About 4 months back, I made a decision. And it has been one of the best decisions of my life. I started teaching at Sid’s school and have been happy. It is a rewarding job and I get the satisfaction of making a difference to someone at the end of the day. Little heads popping their head into my room to say hi to me whenever they pass by the room, kids coming at least once a day to spend about 5 minutes with me and kids who wait for my class each week – I love it all. Kids have this tremendous power of forgiving – I might have reprimanded someone one minute, but the next minute it is all forgotten and forgiven and they are back to smiling and talking with me again. 

A lot of people think being a teacher is the easiest profession, but it isn’t really. There is a lot of preparation and learning to do before the teaching starts. 

When I made this decision, people were ready to throw their opinions on me – that I was wasting my life, wasting away my degrees, that the salary offered might not be what I deserve, etc etc. Little did they realize that this was my life and my priorities. This job helped me focus on my family alongside doing what I wanted to do. I take my son to school and bring him back with me. I can sit with his work in the evenings, take him to the park and cook a good meal for the family. For me, these are my priorities and these things make me happy. 

I do not expect everyone to understand this. I appreciate their concern for me. But what amuses me is most often than not, these opinions and judgments come from other women. I discount most of it because I think it is their own complex manifesting in these statements. I don’t understand where the pressure to be ‘the perfect mom’ comes from. We all strive to do the best for our children, in whatever little way we can –being a SAHM or a working mom and there is no right way to doing it. I have been both and I know both are tough. Being mom is tough.

From guilty to not guilty!

My mother moved into a retirement home recently. 

When she first mentioned the idea of a retirement home, i was shocked and upset beyond words. Later guilt took the place of shock and I felt terrible about myself. What was i thinking when she mentioned that word to me? Just like in the movies, a drab poor looking place where old people are left by their children who cant take up the responsibility of keeping them?  Well, not so cinematic really. 

Being the only daughter, I felt horrible that I couldn't take care of her, ideally like I should. I was sad that I couldn't do my bit, was angry at her for god knows why. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I feared how my family and society would look upon it or react to it. 

But three months after her moving in there, I realize it was the best decision of her life. The place is lovely - calm and serene, just ideal for retirement. And she has friends with whom she has a good time and beyond all, she doesn't have to go through the hassle of having to cook every morning just for herself. She visits me whenever she wants to and goes back when she starts missing her place. I feel like she is finally living life the way she wanted to. I am happy for her and in my heart I know it was perhaps the best thing to happen. She is independent like she always has been and by living on her own, she has made it clear to everybody that she can take care of her life. To all those people who showed fake sympathy and feared that she might be a burden on them - i wonder where they plan to hide their faces.

Missing Charm!

Last tuesday, I was at the TP road school for observation. Although my observing experience was not so good, the school made me very nostalgic. The school is an old building and it reminded me of the schools i had studied in. The wooden benches, the cupboards made of cement with just the doors in wood. The classroom made me want to study ! i was reliving my school days walking through the corridors of the school. 

my school is nice - broad corridors, big and airy classrooms and has almost everything a school shoud have. But somehow, i find the charm missing.

One Week, Three Books!

One week and just finished the third book. 

Revolution 2020 - Chetan Bhagat. 

I liked the book. Decent storyline. I kinda felt sorry for the guy - sometimes in life , you just arent lucky with anything. 

The Help  - kathryn Stockett

Good book and quite a bold attempt even in the present time. The flow is so good and almost everything in the book is so imaginable. 

The Bet - Rachel Van Dyken

I liked the book - ofcourse i will like it - i always love love stories with happy endings. Although I cant imagine that such a profound love exists.

Ahem!

It is good to be back home. But I miss Boston. I miss everything about it. I miss the snow, I miss the car, I miss my house and ofcourse I miss going to Market Basket. Every time I see NY or any other place I have been to in the US, I miss it like hell. 

No complaints about being here. I like it here. But there is always a part of me that yearns to go back !Wondering if this state of mind will change as time goes by!